May 2013
LITERALLY THIS JUST HAPPENED I'M SCREAMING
ME: *SINGING LOUDLY* YO I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT
UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR: SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT SO I CAN GO TO SLEEP
This happened to us once:
My roommate: WHAT ARE THEY SELLIN'?!
Me: CHOCOLATE!
My roommate: WHAT?!
Me: CHOCOLATE!!!
My roommate: WHAT?!!!
Person in the next room: CHOCOLAAATTTTTEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
royal-high:
a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
For a children's show, Adventure Time is full of...
tumblrisweird:
Being unable to care for your child
Being overpowered by your child
Being manipulated into an abusive relationship
Being attacked by your spouse
Depression and attempted suicide
Threat of miscarriage
Losing a loved one (or yourself) to Alzheimer’s
Not to mention a goddamned nuclear apocalypse
URGENT!
xere-the-sun-risesx:
WESTBORO BAPTIST IS ACTIVE IN NORMAN TODAY, AND THEY ARE BY NO MEANS WELCOME. THEY ARE PLANNING TO PROTEST THE FUNERALS OF CHILDREN KILLED IN THE RECENT TORNADO. SHOW THEM WHAT AN ANGRY OKIE IS LIKE, Y’ALL!
REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG!
heartcramp:
Look, if you nicely tell me that swearing makes you uncomfortable and you politely ask me not to, I will stop immediately and speak nicer than a nun.
But if you start acting like you’re on some fucking high horse, or telling me that I’m going to Hell for talking the way that I do and you can’t “be around that kind of language” then you can bet your motherfuckin’ ass that I’ll be...
kid-b:
i know you shouldnt judge people based on their music taste but the truth is that 99% of the time it works
captainmjolnir:
I’ve never understood the stereotype that women are more likely to faint at blood
I mean seriously
what do you think we do every month
I am honestly so much more content sitting in my room alone at night smiling and crying to myself as I watch my favorite tv shows, than being out in the uncomfortable situation that involves me pretending to be having the good time of my life with boring people, who don’t know a thing about me, who don’t care about me, who do pointless things.
theoriginalspike:
innumerablegibbons:
A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterday It would be funny if this joke had a punchline Wooden tit
poopflow:
roughrimjob:
meladoodle:
she got a pussy like the grand canyon
dry and sandy
possibly filled with dead bodies
homleschapel:
summer is real cute until every fuckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell
peevesies:
i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life
k8y411:
clarityofhatred:
abidinginlove:
sodamnrelatable:
when you say a word too much and it stops sounding like a word
bowl is the worst
i wonder how many of us just sat here saying “bowl” until it sounded weird
all of us.
krvsty:
yeah boyfriends are pretty cool but have u ever heard of chocolate fountains
parishiltonisburning:
Anons who call people ugly:
fake-mermaid:
how are we almost in june i swear we were in march 2 days ago
weight-a-second:
unnoticedbyall:
davidspookmour:
imagine singing in the shower with your favorite singer
we wouldn’t be singing
bandbutts:
If masturbating while stoned isn’t called weed whacking I don’t know how to live my life anymore
